A guide to starting conversations and making friends at uni
Written by Student Content Shapers James Follen and Maisie Northcott
Starting university can feel quite daunting, with many new places and faces to figure out! I’m Maisie, a fourth-year Business Management with Marketing student, and I’m James, a second year Geography student, and in this blog, we’re sharing our personal takes, stories, and tips on how to start conversations and build friendships at university, especially when everything feels overwhelming.
Is it normal to feel nervous about meeting new people?
Maisie:
100%. I was worried that everyone else had it all figured out, which, looking back now, was silly as they didn’t. Everyone is going through the same experience and feeling just as unsure, even if they seemed confident on the outside. What helped was reminding myself that it’s normal to feel awkward, and not every conversation will go perfectly and that’s okay. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it gets.
James:
Quite so, and it is fairly daunting depending on your experiences before. All I can say is putting your best foot forward, and stepping outside your comfort zone is best. Even if a conversation doesn't go well, you can be proud that you created an opportunity to connect!
What events or places are best for meeting people?
James:
Society taster sessions were a game-changer for me. You meet people who already share an interest, which makes conversation easier. Did you know we have over 300 student groups at UoB? I also recommend checking out the Guild’s events calendar - there’s always something going on. I scheduled every event I wanted to attend on my calendar, and when it came to the day, I chose which I felt like attending. Surprisingly effective!
Maisie:
The Business School ran plenty of Welcome activities that made it easy to get to know others on my course, and I’m pretty sure most departments do something similar. You can check out all your Welcome events here. The induction events are definitively worth going to, since it’s always nice to suggest grabbing a coffee afterwards with those you get along with as a relaxed way to keep the conversation going.
How do you start a conversation with someone new?
Maisie:
It depends on the setting, but I usually look for a shared context to start with such as, “How are you finding it so far?” If it’s during an activity, asking to partner up or choosing to sit next to someone in a lecture can be a great way to break the ice. If the event is designed for introductions or meeting new people, it’s often easier to just approach a group and ask their names since everyone’s expecting to chat it feels more natural. Most people appreciate a friendly gesture, and it doesn’t have to be anything complicated.
James:
I’m a fan of compliments for introductions. It shows an interest in them as a person. Situational stuff works too, like, “Is this the way to [building]?” Otherwise, it's best to grab their socials and put offers of where to go next on the table - that way you might see them again or share an experience together in the future.
Any tips for keeping the conversation going?
James:
Humour helps. If you can laugh together, you’re already halfway to friendship. Similarly, opening up and treating them as if they already are your friend can work wonders for making them feel at ease.
Maisie:
I try asking open questions like, “What made you choose your course?”, sharing a bit about myself, and not stressing over pauses. If it’s going well, suggesting a coffee or walk to keep chatting can be a great next step. Most people are happy to talk, and they’re probably hoping someone starts the conversation too!
What if the conversation doesn’t go well?
Maisie:
It happens all the time and that’s completely okay. Not every conversation will lead to a lifelong friendship, that’s just part of the university experience. A big part of settling in is meeting all sorts of different people and figuring out who you really click with. I’ve had plenty of awkward chats, and honestly, I can’t even remember most of them now. You learn, move on, and eventually find your people. Don’t let one awkward moment knock your confidence.
James:
So what? Plenty of people on campus to meet, and not everyone can be your friend. Think about what you like to do and choose what you enjoy. There's enough choice of activities and societies that you’re bound to find something – and someone there - that you like.
How we met our friends at UoB
James’s Story:
I’m quite social, sometimes even described as a BNOC (big name on campus)! This means that sure, I’ve met a lot of people who I would call my friends, but my most solid friendship group I met through a friend of a friend at a society in third term. Moral of that is keep on keeping on; you never know how you’re going to meet your best friends!
Maisie’s Story:
My course mates and I first connected during induction lectures through catching coffee afterwards and walking back to halls as a group, as well as later going to more Welcome events together. That one small decision to grab coffee led to some of my closest university friendships. Now I’m heading into my fourth year, I still meet new people all the time. So don’t worry if you don’t feel like you’ve got everything figured out after semester one. Finding your people takes time, and every chat helps you get there.
Final Thoughts
Making friends at university doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a mix of small conversations, shared laughs, and showing up to random events even when it feels awkward. So, try saying hi to someone new this week. Remember, everyone is in the same boat, and you never know where it might lead!